Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.
Facilitator: “Okay, so now we’re going to go around the group and each person is going to tell us what they find hard about doing their job.”
Anxiety: Uh oh.
Me: You. That’s the simple answer.
Anxiety: Wait, what?
Me: You make my job hard.
Anxiety: Heeeeyyyy, first of all, that’s really mean. Second of all, don’t you dare talk about me in front of all these people.
Me: Why not? It’s true, you hate working in a hospital environment – it involves hundreds of conversations with all sorts of people every day, requires constant positivity, is noisy and busy and unpredictable and tiring and full-on and–
Anxiety: STOP, are you trying to make this difficult for me?!
Anxiety: I think we might pass out, I’m not sure there’s enough air in here–
Me: This is exactly the point I was trying to prove.
Me: So this is exactly what we’re going to present to the group. Simply the truth.
Anxiety: Wait… I forgot we have to actually talk totally UNPREPARED in front of ten staring strangers. WHY is this HAPPENING. We need to get out of this room right now, we need to–
Me: We can’t, it’s our turn next.
Anxiety: Let’s go to the toilet, say we’re ill, just get up and leave, ANYTHING.
Me: Just be quiet and let me handle this.
Anxiety: No no no, don’t talk about me to everyone, you know I don’t like it when people talk about me or focus on me or make me the centre of attention, no no, please, can’t we just talk about–
Me: “Something that makes working in a busy, unpredictable environment hard for me is anxiety.”
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