Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.
Anxiety: There’s someone following us.
Me: I mean, he’s not following us, he just happens to be walking in the same direction.
Anxiety: Yeah, behind us.
Me: …what do you expect, everyone to be walking ahead of us?!
Anxiety: No, of course not! Just not this close behind us.
Me: That’s not really his fault though, is it?
Anxiety: I swear I can hear him breathing.
Me: I don’t think you can…
Anxiety: He might be plotting how to kidnap us.
Me: What?! He’s texting, and it’s broad daylight in the middle of the city, that would be stupid.
Anxiety: Or he might be judging the way we’re walking – I don’t know what’s worse.
Me: …kidnapping is obviously worse.
Anxiety: Can you really be sure about that?
Anxiety: That’s beside the point anyway, let’s just speed up to create some distance.
Me: Seriously? We’re going up the hill, we’re already out of breath a bit.
Anxiety: I don’t care. Just WALK.
Anxiety: A bit quicker, come on… Please, come on, COME ON. We need to be further away. Faster!
Me: Ughhhh. I’m GOING, shh.
Anxiety: Yes, okay, I think we’re safely ahead now. We just have to keep the pace up.
Me: This – is – ridiculous… hff-uh-hff-uh-hff… I – can’t – brea––
Anxiety: Stop being so dramatic.
Me: Me?! I’m the one being dramatic?!
Anxiety: Um yeah, it’s not like I’d be talking to anyone else is it.
Me: You’re unbelievable.
Anxiety: Excuse me, but– Oh my god, no slow down, you’re getting too close to the person walking ahead of us.
Me: Wow, seriously? You have a problem with this too? And you’re saying I’m being–
Anxiety: Are you going to drop this already?
Me: I might, if you drop getting all worked up over strangers literally just walking in the street, paying absolutely no attention to us.
Anxiety: Just cross the road, will you? Before we get trapped.
Me: Why didn’t we just do that in the first place?!
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