Snapshots of the conversations that are had between anxiety and I: the things we fight over, the discussions and debates we take part in and the struggle to reason with irrationality. Some of these are based on past events or reoccurring battles, some on more recent occasions, and some are simply extrapolations of experiences I’ve had.
Anxiety: Urr what’s this? Where are we going?
Me: A casual meeting, nothing bad.
Anxiety: Uh oh.
Me: …it’s fine!
Anxiety: I’m not sure we have anything to say though…
Me: We can just answer each question as it comes, it will be obvious! It’s not a test.
Anxiety: I’m not sure about this.
Me: “Hi! I’ll just take a seat here?”
Anxiety: Here we go, brace yourself.
Me: Come on, concentrate, please.
Anxiety: We’re looking too intently into her eyes.
Me: That’s what you do in a conversation!
Anxiety: Actually, we’re not looking at her face enough.
Me: Okay, I’ll try a bit more of that then.
Anxiety: But not too much eye contact.
Me: I get it.
Anxiety: I think we’re taking too many breaths a minute? Or not enough?
Me: What’s a normal amount?
Anxiety: We have sweaty hands.
Me: She doesn’t know that though.
Anxiety: Our face is definitely clammy right now, she definitely knows that.
Me: You really think she can see that?
Anxiety: Our lips are dry, no, don’t lick them! That will look weird.
Me: We need to be able to talk without our voice cracking though.
Anxiety: Is there any water in this office?
Me: I think it would be strange to ask for water in a ten minute meeting, wouldn’t it?
Anxiety: There’s certainly not enough air… or space… or light. An office with no windows?! Hooooooow is this OKAY.
Me: We’ll be out soon, just focus on the conversation.
Anxiety: Wait, I thought you were doing that bit! I haven’t been paying attention to what she’s saying, have you? This is really bad if you haven’t, PLEASE tell me you have, please –
Me: It would be easier if you weren’t shouting!
Anxiety: Okay, sorry, I’ll be quiet.
Me: Thank you.
Anxiety: I don’t like how close we’re sitting to her.
Me: You promised you’d be quiet!
Anxiety: I didn’t promise.
Anxiety: She’s waiting for an answer. That was a QUESTION. Do you have an answer?!
Anxiety: Oh my god. Really? You’re just going to ‘umm’?
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