Anxiety Is Not Pretty: How It Feels To Live With Anxiety

This is a stream of consciousness written at a point in time when I was gripped by anxiety so tightly I could barely think because of it. It’s angry and it’s messy, because that’s the reality of anxiety for so many people. I’m sharing this in order to give one perspective of what it’s like to live with anxiety – of course, many other versions exist out there, some of which will resonate with this more than others.

(Potential trigger warning for those who experience intense anxiety – this is descriptive of my thoughts and experiences and I don’t want that to hurt anyone further.)


Anxiety is not pretty. It isn’t glamorous, or endearing. It may seem that way in books and films and on social media, but that is definitely not how it feels to live with. It is rough, brutal. Mean-spirited and ugly. Anxiety is a constant argument in my head between the unconvincing, faint yelp of the rational, and the fearful, controlling scream of manipulative desperation.

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It’s Okay to Change Your Mind About University

For many young people in the UK, today is results day – long-awaited and much-anticipated, futures are potentially steered in totally unforseen ways because of the letters that appear from within those envelopes on this notorious Thursday. Dreams, and hearts, are seemingly made or broken.

Facing Pressure

The amount of pressure put on eighteen year olds, by themselves and perhaps also the adults in their lives, can be immense. The idea that this is your one shot at having a ‘successful’ life, that grades are the be all and end all. The thought that time is running out and if you’re not on the starting line for the marathon that is conventional adult life (uni, working your way up some kind of career ladder, finding ‘the one’, moving into a flat and then a house with a mortgage, having a couple of kids, etc.) then you’re going to be left choking on the dust of everyone else’s victories.

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WTF is ASMR? Can It Help With Anxiety?

Just like lots of people with anxiety, I have often turned to the internet in search of ways to help sooth a jumpy mind. A mind that can sometimes feel like it’s wired up to an electric current on maximum voltage… So less than ideal. Amongst the advice handed out by fellow bloggers, meditation guides and yoga videos, there’s a unique corner of the internet, specifically on YouTube, that’s home to what is known as ASMR. I really don’t know how many of you lovely readers will have heard of this before – so I will assume it is uncharted territory and start from the logical beginning – what in the world is ASMR?!

What is ASMR?

ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) is, simply put, a relaxing sensation often felt in the head, neck and sometimes limbs caused by visual and/or auditory stimulus. Not everyone feels it but those that do, including me, normally describe it as a tingling feeling that can make you feel incredibly relaxed and sleepy. It’s kind of like having a static balloon held to the back of your neck making all the little hairs stand on end.

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You Are What You Eat: Considering Going Vegan?

A friend from America once told me about a slogan that exists over there for a popular supermarket that describes itself as ‘at the corner of happy and healthy’, and although the cringe factor of that is eye-roll-worthy, there is an important concept in there. What we eat isn’t just a matter of giving our bodies some kind of energy, it’s about giving them good quality energy; energy that is compatible with us. In this way, we’re much like cars in need of gas. I’m no mechanic but I’m pretty certain that if you filled up a vehicle with the wrong kind of petrol it wouldn’t run at all, let alone at its best.

We’ve all experienced this ourselves, I’m sure. You know, that day you ate fast food twice, an extra piece of cake and somehow forgot fruit existed? Yep, we’ve all been there. And most of us can feel the impact of that either straight away or the day after: the tiredness, the sluggishness, the mood swings, the irritability… Even if you never linked these things to what you were eating, it is likely that the food you choose to fuel your body with is leaving its mark on you through how you feel physically and mentally – whether that’s positive or negative.

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Anxious Mind? Try List Making (by Johnzelle)

I’m very happy to welcome Johnzelle back to my blog for a second guest post, this one all about a subject very close to my heart – list making. I make lists religiously, for anything and everything. If you’re like me, or even if you’re at the opposite end of the spectrum and don’t really understand why anyone would make lists, then this post is for you…

Make sure to go follow Johnzelle for more helpful posts about mental health when you’ve finished reading!


Let’s take a minute to imagine the inner workings of the anxious mind: fears, an overactive fight-or-flight response, racing thoughts, and much more. As someone living with an anxiety disorder, these are all thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that I experience on an almost daily basis. List making is a skill that I’ve used in my own life to help manage the racing thoughts.

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Small Changes to Your Room That Can Boost Your Mental Health

We all have difficult days, hours and minutes, and when these moments strike the setting we find ourselves in can greatly impact how we process and cope with the situations life throws our way. It is totally natural to crave familiarity in times of distress: when toddlers fall over they scream for a hug from a parent and I think our bedroom environment can act as that comforting figure we all sometimes need. It’s a safe haven, and that’s why it should be helping to boost your positivity.

So here are six changes you can make to your bedroom to nurture your wellbeing…

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August Bullet Journal Setup

It’s time for everyone’s favourite post of the month: my bullet journal spreads for the next few weeks. After taking a little bit of time away from the intensity of this form of creative organisation, I eased myself back into it all last month with a sort-of-half setup. I also got a tad more creative with the design of my pages, opting for a watercolour lavender theme, and my interest in using watercolours only grew when I started planning my August setup.

I feel like I’m fully back into bullet journalling again now and I think that becomes pretty obvious when looking at these pages compared to my January ones, for example. I am also pretty excited because this will be the last month that fits in this notebook – September will be the time for a new one using fresh stationery and everything! I’ll also be setting up a lot of pages related to studying/student life as my university course starts next month too. So in the meantime, whilst you’re all waiting for that back-to-school content, I present to you my bullet journal spreads for August: the month for eating ice cream…

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